Calibrated Coitus: This “Sperm Extractor” Device Has Twitter All Worked Up For The Future

While some us might give mountain-moving performances in the bedroom, it could be a different story if you had to donate your bodily fluids to a medical institution.

Just think…

The cold, dry walls.

The sharp, medical tools.

Not exactly a turn on.

Well one Chinese company is trying to lighten the mood for an evening ejaculation.

The Jiangsu Sanwe Medical Science and Technology Center has manufactured a device known as the “sperm extractor,” and it’s solely for patients who can’t or don’t want to masturbate themselves. According to Metro, all folks have to do is get comfortable with the machine’s lubricated “massage pipe,” then through a combination speed and pressure, the sperm is supposed to come flowing for all your “medical” needs.

The device first gained buzz as far back as 2012, but thanks to a Twitter post by @AngryManTV, the device has re-sparked people’s interest.


Despite the practical use the machine, some Twitter users weren’t happy about this new way life. One @BNagorski wasn’t convinced, arguing, “So I’m ‘reluctant to masturbate’ but willing to put my junk into an atm with a flesh light attached?”

Of course, other people had a full supply lewd jokes they were ready to share.

“I feel sorry for whoever has to clean these machines,” @Kyesha_Marie said.

“I would like to get one for my uhhh… hospital,” said @KenXyro.

According to a Reuters video, the provocative device is supposed to mimic the feel a vaginal environment, twitching, sucking, massage and yes, vibration. You can also adjust the height the machine along with the speed, force and heat.

The whole thing was created because the Chinese government had fears a looming semen shortage, according to Metro.

Yup…out all the fears a country could have, they were scared people weren’t going to deliver the goods. Apparently, China was having a lack sperm donations, so they’ve urged their men to lend a helping hand…or machine.

“Hospitals mostly use masturbation as their collection method without providing a venue or equipment,” inventor Ding Guijiang told Reuters. “This makes collecting sperm on site very difficult. We invented an automatic sperm extractor which is also user friendly.”

From a medical and psychological standpoint, this machine could also help people with erectile disfunction or just plain “getting it up.”

With the proper stimulant, the sperm extractor could do things a fleshlight or measly old hand could never do…

I assume.

It’s the future ya. Get with it.

And if you need extra “research,” you can buy the device here for a cost between $4,999 and $5,999.

Hit the flip for more reactions to this fascinating tool.

The people are definitely amused…and interested.

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Calibrated Coitus: This “Sperm Extractor” Device Has Twitter All Worked Up For The Future

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